One of my mates suggested recently that I write a blog post comparing my genitals to 18th Century Europe. He might have been joking. If you are reading this, buddy… well, I blame you.

So, Europe in the 1700s… it’s been a while since a woman touched either? No, I can do better than that… oooh, the Savery steam engine was developed in 1698, whereas genitals are unsavoury? Hmm… the French Revolution led to the Catholic Church having less influence in France, just like how they have very little influence over…

Dammit, this is hard (well, that’s something at least).

Ah, I know – genitals are like the Age of Enlightenment. Both promote and favour sexual and gender equality. The enslaved, represses masses of the pre-Enlightenment and their genitals alike were told what they can and can’t do, where they can and can’t go, by conservative governments and churches. But when the people rose up, they could no longer be denied.

Hmm, I might have just belittled one of the greatest cultural shifts in history.

The Industrial Revolution led to a population boom in Europe, something I’m sure my genitals will also lead to. Wikipedia reckons there are similar populations between the two – 100 million people at the start of the 18th Century versus probably 250 million sperm per ejaculation. The Industrial Revolution also saw significant columns belching pollutants all over the countryside…

Okay, this is fucked up. I’ll stop now. But I’ll throw this one open to the group – how do your private parts resemble the old Old Country?